Don’t ask people if they’re free on a certain date without specifying why you’re asking. Simply asking “are you free on Friday?” comes across like you’re tricking the other person into doing whatever it is you want them to do.

Don’t ask people if they’re free on a certain date without specifying why you’re asking.

Simply asking “are you free on Friday?” comes across like you’re tricking the other person into doing whatever it is you want them to do.

Instead, ask “are you free on Friday for a movie?”

What do you think?

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  1. “Are you free?” – “Yes.” – “Can you help me with [xy] then?” – “No.” – “Why not?” – “Because I wouldn’t be free anymore.”

  2. Internal: wow this person is really interested in me

    Then questioner drops the reason why they asked

    External: No I can’t help you move

    Internal: Screw this idiot.

  3. I’m not free on Friday because I have plans.

    My plans are to sit on my sofa in my pyjamas, eating takeaway and watching bad TV.

  4. Lol all these people saying “I don’t feel bad about telling my friend I don’t want to help them move”.

    Am I the only one who enjoys helping out a friend move? Like I ain’t gonna decorate their homes. But moving some furniture around with them isn’t that bad. It’s a little bonding and exercise imo.

  5. I had a friend who did trick me into doing something for her by doing exactly this. She asked what I was doing Friday, and I said I had no plans. I expected her to invite me out or something. Nope. She asked me to babysit her daughter while she went out. I should have just said no, and would say no today. But I was young and didn’t want to look like an asshole, so I said yes. But I resented her and the friendship fell apart.

  6. One of my sisters is regularly frustrated other sister and I will do a lot more less fun things together.

    She doesn’t realize everyone in the family now expects her to ask for something small and then reveal all the shitty details after you agreed.

  7. I never answer an open ended question like this. Too many times I’ve gotten trapped into doing something I don’t want to do- like babysitting a rotten kid, or moving someone on a Friday night versus going out.

    Great tip!

  8. This is about being respectful and transparent about your intentions.

    A huge majority of comments so far are from the wrong perspective.

    All of the comments about being able to say no to things are technically correct. We should be confident in telling others no and not fall for a trap when someone is asking us for free time.

    That being said, this is the responsibility of the person doing the asking. It is your responsibility to not be manipulative and to recognize that others, especially when its your friend, may not be able to tell you no and will feel obligated or manipulated if you don’t follow this LPT.

  9. I just reply with I don’t know yet, what’s going on? If they tell you, you bought yourself some time to disappear and make up your mind. If they don’t tell you then the answer will always be I’m busy then.

  10. This is something that pisses me off and I always get the feeling people intentionally do it to be deceptive (as opposed to just doing it with blissful ignorance).

    I’m trained at this point to automatically say no or immediately be suspicious at this point in my life. I’d rather somebody just flat out say “hey dude, I need you to help me get rid of a body” instead of beating around the bush to see if I’m free first.

  11. That uses to be my dad. He’d ring me up and ask what I’m doing? I’ll give a very hesitant and cautious nothing? That’s when the bombshell will be dropped. But he’s my dad. I’ll do anything for him

  12. Im sure if your friend has to trick you into doing something with you either you aren’t their friend or you are just a weird person. Anything my friends do I already know cause they are a part of my friend group for a reason. Unless you just met them but if you don’t trust them why be friends

  13. At this point, I’m waiting for someone to ask me if I’m free on X-day. I’ve nothing on my schedule except for work and classes. No one to hang out with, no GF to go out on a date with. How on earth did I arrive at this point?

  14. Same as asking “are you busy?” at work.

    Like yeah bish I’m busy, but if you need help just ask, don’t try to trap me into it

  15. Any person who is going to just ask if I’m free without the reason is someone who I would be willing to help move. I don’t know many people besides family and like 5 friends who would ask it, and for all of them I’m always happy to help.

    On the flip side, I feel like I typically ask someone about the activity before the date, because dates can usually be moved and I totally get having a busy schedule and wanting to fit something in or not wanting to participate in something regardless of the date.

  16. Huh….been asked this many of times, never thought i was being tricked. Id just say no if i didnt want to do shit that day.
    If i said yes, then its to be with that person, so what we do doesnt matter.

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